Tae-oh’s gaze was a clear expression of suspicion. Sensing something from Tae-oh’s words, expression, and attitude, Sol quickly masked himself with his characteristic awkward smile. It was familiar. He had lived through many years like this. Unlike Sol, who thought it was nothing new, Tae-oh, who was still new to this side of Sung Sol, didn’t let his suspicions slide.
“Do you not remember? Get up. I’ll call Yeong-ho hyung. Let’s go to the hospital.”
“No. No, it’s not. I woke up and was confused. I thought it was a dream.”
“...”
“Really. I dreamed of going to the weekend evaluation...”
As Tae-oh took out his phone to call manager Yeong-ho, Sol urgently waved his hands to dissuade him. Tae-oh, who appeared rough and insensitive on the outside but was sensitive and quick-witted in situations like this, was slightly bothered.
Sol, finding this conversation and reactions familiar, didn’t need to think further to guess the situation he was in. His heavy head and foggy mind were a clear indication of what was happening, but Sol still wanted to be certain, so he mentally reopened the status window. To his surprise, a strange line was added to the status window that appeared before him.
[The trait ‘Eraser in the Mind’ has been activated.]
He thought it was nice to confirm his progress by seeing the numbers in the status window, but now that it appeared before him, it just made him confuse. Sol furrowed his brows. Even though his muddled mind had already provided the answer, the status window doing unnecessary things only made him feel worse.
Perhaps due to his missing memories, the morning’s tasks rushed by in a blur of confusion. Like a doll with no will of his own, he was being pulled around by the members, here and there, losing focus. He was briefly reprimanded by the manager, who came to check on them, and when he came to his senses, it was already lunchtime.
Deuk-yong and Ga-ram’s worries felt distant, as if it was for someone else, and didn’t resonate with him at all. Casually spooning food into his mouth, when Deuk-yong asked, ‘Hyung, you won’t collapse again, will you?’ and he replied nonchalantly, his only thought was, ‘I collapsed yesterday.’
In the past few days, he had been excessively enthusiastic and diligent, making today’s demeanor stand out in stark contrast. However, ironically, Sol’s inability to remember yesterday’s events acted as a shield. Ji-ho seemed to have something he wanted to ask several times, starting to speak, but upon seeing Sol’s distracted expression, he remained silent.
“Sol-ah!”
Sol, who was lost in thought, was startled when someone tapped his shoulder, and he abruptly turned around. It was Eun-gyeom, whom he ran into while returning to the practice room after finishing his meal.
“Um... Hello.”
“Are you okay? What happened yesterday?”
“Yesterday?”
“They said you collapsed. I was surprised to see you being carried at the entrance.”
“Oh, yesterday’s incident? That’s what happened.”
Once again, his response was slightly delayed due to his momentary distraction. Behind the worried face of Eun-gyeom, there was a hint of uncertainty in Ji-ho’s expression.
“Hello.”
“Hello. Sunbae.”
“Hello!”
“Yeah.”
Eun-gyeom greeted Sol as if meeting a dear friend, asking about his well-being, but he seemed indifferent to the greetings from other members, including Tae-oh. When Sol exchanged stories with Eun-gyeom about the members, it was clear that they had been trainees together for quite some time and had become quite close, but everyone’s reactions were too subdued to support that.
“I was worried. There were so many fans yesterday, so I thought it would be exhausting to follow along for no reason, so I just asked about it from the manager later. They said you collapsed during the evaluation.”
“Yes, that’s what happened.”
“What’s wrong? You said you’d work hard... Did you push yourself too much? But it seemed like the evaluation went well, and the representative said he’s looking forward to it. You did a good job.”
“Really? I was worried after collapsing, so I’m relieved. Thank you.”
Sol, who had no memory of collapsing, replied as if relaying someone else’s story without much involvement. Misinterpreting this as embarrassment and not wanting to cause unnecessary concern, Eun-gyeom smiled and patted Sol’s shoulder like a gentle puppy.
Eun-gyeom’s action reminded Sol of Ju-hwan. It was a habit Ju-hwan occasionally had. Although there were similarities, Sol was certain it wasn’t Ju-hwan. Everyone talked about Representative Baek Yoo-chan. They said that the representative had high expectations for Sol and was greatly concerned about him collapsing in front of him. But Sol had no memory of Representative Baek Yoo-chan.
He tried several times to recall, but it was impossible. Sol could only remember an empty, blank face. Perhaps Representative Baek Yoo-chan was the reason he had completely erased his memory. Surely he must have been disappointed not to find any resemblance to the Yoo-chan he knew. Moreover, the evaluation situation must have felt overwhelming. Despite having no memory, the situation seemed familiar, as if he had experienced it due to the constant talk around him.
If he had heard even the slightest unpleasant remark there, he would have wanted to forget it completely. But the words from Eun-gyeom and the other members were all words of support and praise. He thought they were just sympathizing with him because he collapsed... But it didn’t seem like that was the case at all. Sol smiled as he looked at Eun-gyeom, who was patting his shoulder.
“Sunbae. We still have a lesson right now.”
As he looked at Eun-gyeom, he felt a bit more at ease, so Sol also erased his awkward expressions and smiled more comfortably. They were smiling meaninglessly at each other when suddenly, Tae-oh interjected. It felt like they were close friends, but was it because they were in front of the practice room where trainees were bustling about?
Tae-oh’s tone towards Eun-gyeom, who was facing him, was polite but quite chilly. Considering they had spent a long time together as trainees, Tae-oh’s reaction was overly realistic and stiff. Perhaps sensing that Tae-oh’s attitude was making things awkward, Eun-gyeom withdrew his hands from patting Sol’s back and looked at Tae-oh.
“Oh, sorry. I held you up for no reason. Let’s talk later. Sol-ah.”
“Yes. See you later.”
“Tae-oh, don’t be too hard on Sol and be nice to him... And Ji-ho, you too. Don’t bother the kid unnecessarily when he’s having a hard time.”
“No one is bothering anyone. And since we’re a team, it’s natural for us to treat him well. Sunbae.”
“That’s right. You’re the leader. That’s how it should be... But why isn’t Ji-ho answering?”
“...”
The atmosphere was very subtle. Sol, who seemed clueless, could still sense the creaking emotions like an old wooden floor. Deuk-yong remained expressionless, and Ga-ram hadn’t said a word all day. The looks they exchanged were sharp.
Feeling the strange tension, Sol glanced around, and Eun-gyeom, with a forced smile, first patted Tae-oh’s shoulder. It was quite an intimate gesture, yet it didn’t feel intimate at all, which was ironic. Tae-oh seemed rather displeased by his touch and shrugged off his hand from his shoulder. Then Eun-gyeom stepped back and mentioned Ji-ho, who was behind Tae-oh, looking at Sol. When Ji-ho didn’t respond at all, Eun-gyeom turned his head to stare at Ji-ho. To Sol’s eyes, it seemed like the three were having a silent confrontation.
“Anyway, take care of things.”
“You don’t need to say it; I’ll take care of it.”
“Alright. See you later, Sol-ah.”
“Yes.”
The subtle standoff that had been continuing for a while ended with Eun-gyeom once again turning his gaze to Sol and smiling broadly. Like when they first met, Eun-gyeom warmly patted Sol’s back and said goodbye.
“Sol-ah, are you two very close?”
“Very close?”
“Yeah. Have you known each other for a long time?”
“No, I got to know him after coming here... Ji-ho hyung? I just received help in various ways and got to know him.”
“I see... But you. ...No, forget it.”
“Why?”
“Are you really okay now?”
“Yes. Why are you asking that...?”
“Why are you using honorifics again? We agreed to drop them.”
“Um... Haha. It’s awkward....”
Sol, unable to determine whether Ji-ho’s words were true or not, hesitated for a moment and then changed the subject abruptly.
“Did you, by any chance...?”
“...By any chance?”
“No, never mind. Forget it.”
After Eun-gyeom left, Jiho, who had been standing a step away, relaxed his expression and approached Sol. It seemed like he had something he wanted to ask all day, as he circled around and tried to strike up a conversation, but this time was no different.
“Why do you keep asking if everything’s okay? Do I look that weird?”
It felt like he had been asked if everything was okay dozens of times from the moment he woke up in the morning until now. It was getting a little annoying. Making excuses was quite emotionally draining. When Sol raised his eyebrows and asked somewhat sharply, Tae-oh intervened between Ji-ho and Sol.
“...You talk about it as if it’s someone else’s business. Even though it was you who collapsed, you answer as if it’s not your own problem, but other people’s concern. Just like now.”
“Me?”
“Yes. When someone asks if you’re okay after collapsing, you don’t respond by saying you’re fine.”
“Maybe you should consider going back to the hospital? Sol?”
As Sol furrowed his brows slightly, Ga-ram, who had been quiet for half a day, finally spoke up.
“I’m really okay. I mean it.”
“Just... Everyone’s worried. Today you were a bit...”
“Dazed and acting strange?”
“Yeah. Your responses were vague, and you couldn’t focus during the morning practice. We’re all worried that you’re pushing yourself too hard when you’re not well.”
“I’m okay. I really am. It’s just... I still don’t feel quite like myself yet. I mean, I did collapse yesterday.”
It’s something that would resolve itself if they just left him alone. Why were they so concerned? Sol chuckled with a hint of mockery. He wanted to be fine, to try to be fine, but somehow, it always went awry. He felt like everyone was being overly protective. Although their relationship had improved recently, he didn’t feel like they were close enough to fuss this much over him collapsing. So it was uncomfortable, being overly cared for.
“Then tell Yeong-ho hyung and take the day off.”
“I don’t want to do that. We have to prepare for the next evaluation. This time, even for vocals...”
Unable to hide his annoyance any longer, Sol responded curtly to Tae-oh’s words. Tae-oh, who had been calm in the face of Sol’s demeanor and tone, seemed to get a bit emotional, as his tone also became stronger.
“You’re not well. There’s no need to rush. When you need to rest, you should rest. If you continue like this and neglect yourself, it could lead to a bigger accident!”
