The weekend evaluation was over in a flash. Strictly speaking, it wasn’t really in a flash, but for Sol, who was utterly overwhelmed, it felt like it ended in the blink of an eye. He had clenched his teeth so hard that his jaw ached and his molars throbbed.
The comments from the trainers, the rookie development team leader, and the manager went in one ear and out the other. By the end, Sol couldn’t remember any of it. After being scolded thoroughly and hearing all the harsh words, when everyone left with just a “Good job,” Sol, who had been shaking like a leaf in the wind waiting for the end, collapsed to the floor, exhausted.
He hadn’t heard anything good. The only one who got any praise was Ji-ho. The song and atmosphere matched him well, and his lively, bright expression stood out. Sol wasn’t the only one who thought so; the trainers and the rookie development team also commented that “Sometimes, a song performed by someone with a beautiful expression and captivating presence is more impactful than one performed by someone who sings well.” But Ji-ho sang well too. It was no surprise that everyone’s attention was on Ji-ho the entire time.
The person hit the hardest was Deuk-yong. He had been banging his head against the wall in the corner of the practice room. It wasn’t his dancing or singing that was the problem; it was his weight that tormented him. Right after the group choreography ended, a scale was brought out in front of everyone. The reason was that Deuk-yong’s body looked bulky and heavy while dancing.
Sol was as thin as a rail, so no one needed to say anything about him, and the other members were within a reasonable range. But when Deuk-yong stepped on the scale, he was asked, “Do you really want to debut? Do you want to spend your life just being evaluated like this?”
Despite his large frame and tough appearance, Deuk-yong’s eyes welled up at those words. He didn’t cry, but his nose and eyes turned red, and his tightly pressed lips looked like they would burst at any moment. Standing next to him, Sol felt guilty by association, so he couldn’t imagine how Deuk-yong felt.
He was at an age where he wanted to eat a lot. Ji-ho often teased him, saying that he pretended to eat in his sleep. With Deuk-yong’s face turning red, the one of the trainers called in Yeongho to ask if he was sneaking food and why he wasn’t managing Deuk-yong’s diet properly. It was extremely harsh to criticize someone for eating, but there was no other choice. Deuk-yong could only bow his head and stare at the floor in front of him as the trainer lashed out.
The members had seen how much Deuk-yong had struggled with food issues. Everyone was too depressed to offer any comfort. The demands were overwhelming. They had to look properly thin and have defined muscles.
Saying “properly” was an understatement; during evaluations and camera tests, they appeared slightly bulkier than in real life. Especially for someone like Sol, whose skin was exceptionally pale. This effect was even more pronounced. In such cases, he had to appear even thinner on camera.
“Good job, everyone.”
As Tae-oh’s greeting concluded, everyone fell silent. A sense of emptiness lingered. Sol once again checked the notification window he faced after the evaluation ended.
[<Steps Toward Debut, Be Properly Evaluated!> Successful]
[2nd Evaluation Comprehensive B+ Grade (Dance: A | Vocal: B) Achieved]
[You have received 2 Stability Potions as a reward for your success.]
He barely managed to complete the task given by the system. Although his grade was an A, he didn’t receive much praise. Not just Sol, but everyone’s evaluations were harsh. Criticisms like his eye contact were lacking, or asking if the audience was underground, and even though his visuals were the best, he didn’t draw attention. The negative feedback continued, making him feel like he would meet his end here.
As Sol read through the quest completion window, he slapped his forehead with his palm. Only after checking the rewards did he remember that he had potions for fatigue recovery and stability. He had planned to use them this time, but had completely forgotten.
It was partly because he wasn’t familiar with the system and item elements, and partly because he was so nervous from the moment he stepped in front of the company that he couldn’t think straight. While marveling at his own foolishness, Sol heard Deuk-yong’s voice.
“I’m not crying because I got scolded. I’m crying because I’m frustrated.”
No one had said anything, but Deuk-yong, already feeling guilty, sniffled as he spoke. Sol turned to look at Deuk-yong. He still had his forehead pressed against the wall. Sol had left him alone, thinking he was taking some time for himself, not realizing he was actually crying.
It was understandable for him to feel frustrated and wronged. He had restricted his diet and practiced every day, even exercising, only to hear harsh words. If he had been scolded after eating his fill, it would have been less unfair.
“Maybe I ate too much chicken breast. It doesn’t even taste good, so why did I eat so much?”
“Because you were hungry.”
“That’s right.”
Sol couldn’t help but laugh as he closed the system window, finding Deuk-yong and Ji-ho’s banter amusing despite Deuk-yong’s sorrow.
“Alright. To lighten the mood, let’s ask Yeong-ho hyung to let us go out.”
“Sounds good.”
“Sol, do you want to come along to buy clothes?”
“Sure.”
At Ji-ho’s suggestion, Sol nodded. If his lifestyle continued this way, it seemed right to buy at least a few basic pieces of clothing. He couldn’t always borrow clothes, and suddenly dressing up like this today made him look a bit less gloomy.
“Our youngest is feeling down, so let’s eat something delicious while we’re out.”
“I’m not going to eat.”
“What?”
“I need to lose weight for next week’s evaluation.”
“A cheat day once in a while won’t hurt.”
“Do you really think so? Do you think so, Ji-ho hyung?”
At Jiho’s casual response while shaking his head, Deuk-yong, who had been resting his forehead against the wall, repeatedly asked as he slowly approached. Crawling towards Ji-ho and Sol, Deuk-yong stopped right in front of Jiho, waiting for the answer he wanted. It was a question with an already expected answer.
“Yes. I think so.”
Finally, when Ji-ho gave the answer he wanted, Deuk-yong covered his face with both hands and buried his face in Jiho’s outstretched knee. Or, more accurately, he almost rammed his face into it.
“Then, let’s have black bean noodles and tteokbokki.”
“Just one.”
“And pizza. And ice cream.”
“Just one! Didn’t you say you’d lose weight for next week’s evaluation?”
Then, without pause, he began listing the foods he’d been craving. The person who had been resolute about dieting for next week’s evaluation just a moment ago was gone, replaced by a child making a fuss about side dishes. When Ji-ho yelled in frustration, Deuk-yong lay back on his lap and flailed on the practice room floor.
He really looked like a child throwing a tantrum on the floor of a supermarket. When Deuk-yong realized his complaints weren’t working on Ji-ho, he rolled on the floor towards Sol.
Deuk-yong grabbed Sol’s legs, who was sitting hesitantly, and pulled him. Sol, who had been barely moving to reduce fatigue, slid down completely with Deuk-yong’s force, ending up lying on the floor together. While Sol and Deuk-yong were tangled and struggling on the floor, Ji-ho made the same proposal to Tae-oh and Ga-ram.
“How about Tae-oh and Ga-ram?”
“You three should go.”
Tae-oh shook his head, and Sol and Ji-ho, who heard his answer, nodded. It seemed like Tae-oh needed a bit of rest. If he looked tired despite his indifferent and calm expression, he was probably in a ragged state.
“Okay. What about you, Ga-ram?”
“I’ll rest at the dorm.”
Ga-ram, who was sitting crouched with noticeably fewer words, answered indifferently. Today, Ga-ram had received the harshest criticism for both choreography and vocals. Perhaps because of his long trainee life, the harsh criticism didn’t seem to affect him much. Ga-ram, who seemed somewhat out of it from the beginning, remained dazed until the end. He acted just like Sol, who had the trait of ‘Eraser in the Mind’ activated. Even though the trainers and the rookie development team were giving bad reviews, he stood there blankly, nodding like a sleepy cat with no thoughts.
Upon Ga-ram’s answer, Tae-oh glanced at him and then turned his head away. The moment Tae-oh turned his head, Sol, who was looking at Tae-oh again, made eye contact with him. Even though it was just eye contact, Sol received some sort of signal. It felt like the two of them would talk about Ga-ram’s recent strange behavior in the dorm.
Tae-oh approached Ga-ram and suggested they go back together. Sol stared intently at the scene. It was said that the two were the closest, but since Sol came, it had been difficult to see them together because they were busy taking care of him.
Sol had always been between those two. Seeing them like that anew, they made quite a picture. Both had thick black hair and were very tall. They looked somewhat alike yet had completely different atmospheres.
“Then I’ll take responsibility and get permission from Yeong-ho hyung.”
“I trust you, hyung!”
“Okay. Go ahead.”
Ji-ho stood up and pulled down his raised hoodie with a determined look. His bright brown curly hair was slightly wet with sweat and hung heavily, and with jeans and a white hoodie, he looked very passionate.
“Then I’ll go back.”
“I’ll go back as well. Take care and see you later at the dorm.”
As Ga-ram brushed past Ji-ho, Tae-oh followed behind him. When both opened the practice room door with indifferent expressions, Ji-ho responded a beat later.
“Alright. Do you need anything?”
“Not really.”
“Have fun. Deuk-yong and Sol too.”
“Yeah. You two get some rest. Have a good time.”
“Tae-oh hyung, I’ll bring back something tasty.”
At Tae-oh’s farewell, Sol waved both hands slightly, and Deuk-yong followed suit and waved as well.
