Ga-ram, who usually exuded a relaxed atmosphere, seemed unusually rushed today. Sol, holding Ga-ram’s hand, stretched his legs occasionally to keep up with Ga-ram’s hurried steps. Taking a slightly larger stride, he could catch a glimpse of Ga-ram’s face just a little ahead.
This happened several times. Only when they reached the alley where Ga-ram always stopped did he finally halt his hurried pace, as if he had been running away. Though the incident had passed uneventfully, Ga-ram habitually paused at this intersection. As Ga-ram stood there silently, Sol carefully loosened his grip on Ga-ram’s hand. But just as he was about to let go, Ga-ram quickly grabbed Sol’s hand again. Sol glanced at the hand Ga-ram held firmly, then cautiously asked:
“Is it because of the next mission song?”
“What is?”
“You’ve seemed upset since coming back from the recording studio…”
“Ah.”
At Sol’s words, Ga-ram let out a short sigh and released his hand again. He couldn’t hide his displeasure when he saw Sol and Tae-oh through the crack in the practice room door. Seeing the two of them standing so close, he tried to rationalize the situation as logically as possible. But no matter how much he tried to justify it, the emotions that had suddenly surged were hard to suppress completely.
Tae-oh was a cool, and good friend he's grateful to. Ga-ram could endure and sacrifice anything for his friend, but not the pale, cool hand he just held. After taking a deep breath, Ga-ram, unlike his earlier hasty gesture, placed Sol’s hand gently on his palm, moving with his usual slow and deliberate manner. Sol looked up at him with a face full of concern at his sudden action.
Ga-ram silently gazed at Sol’s hand, perfectly fitting in his palm, then glanced back. He saw Tae-oh, who had noticed his emotions and was deliberately walking slowly behind them. Ga-ram clenched Sol’s hand.
Clench. It looked like he was gripping tightly, but he held Sol’s hand as gently as if cradling an egg, leaving enough space for Sol to pull away if he felt uncomfortable. It was a hand he couldn’t even bring himself to grab roughly, yet seeing Sol embraced by Tae-oh made a petty jealousy rise within him.
‘I liked him first.’
A childish thought, unbefitting of his age, suddenly sprang up in Ga-ram’s heart. From the times he walked down this alley every night with Sol, substituting for his busy friend who was in and out of the hospital, to the times he wished Sol would sing his songs. Even during the moments he was so terrified he lost all rational thought. From the moment they lay side by side on a hospital bed, exchanging comfort and apologies while laughing, he had held feelings for Sol.
It was undoubtedly his own feelings, and he couldn’t bring himself to voice them, fearing it might make Sol uncomfortable or affect the team. But Ga-ram knew he had nurtured these feelings long before Tae-oh had. Holding Sol’s hand, Ga-ram glanced at Tae-oh, who was walking some distance behind them. Though there was space between them, it was enough for their eyes to meet. Despite Ga-ram’s blatant and childish behavior, Tae-oh’s expression remained as calm as ever.
“Ga-ram?”
Perhaps sensing how unusual it was for Ga-ram to hold his hand without saying a word, Sol broke the silence and called his name. Only then did Ga-ram shift his gaze from Tae-oh to Sol, his face looking somewhat gloomy as their eyes met. It was pointless to feel such childish jealousy toward Tae-oh. Ga-ram didn’t have the courage to embrace Sol the way Tae-oh did, even though Sol was right in front of him, close enough to pull into his arms. He couldn’t even hold Sol’s hand without being cautious—how could he even think of hugging him? Everything about Sol made him cautious. Even defining his own feelings for Sol felt like treading on thin ice.
As Ga-ram swallowed a bitter smile, Sol took a step closer to him. Easily slipping his hand out of Ga-ram’s grip, Sol spread his arms wide and pulled Ga-ram into a hug. Tae-oh, who had been walking toward them, abruptly stopped in his tracks.
Caught off guard by the sudden embrace, Ga-ram’s eyes widened, and he gulped dryly. His hands hovered in the air, unsure of what to do, as he stood stiffly, leaning into Sol, who was a head shorter than him.
In Sol’s eyes, Ga-ram’s face looked exactly like his own had before Tae-oh arrived. Seeing Ga-ram trapped in a whirlwind of complicated emotions, his expression clouded by countless thoughts, Sol remembered how he had felt in the practice room earlier. At that time, Sol had felt crushed under the weight of his own thoughts, as if he were being suffocated. But the moment Tae-oh had pulled him into a tight hug, all those thoughts had vanished. Sol wanted to pass on that same comfort to Ga-ram.
Ga-ram had just finished the first broadcast recording and, without a moment’s rest, had to dive into the more challenging task of rearranging the song. Burdened by the pressure, Ga-ram had been working tirelessly. Sol, on the other hand, had spent the entire day lost in his own thoughts, barely listening to Ga-ram’s words, and inwardly scolded himself for not being able to come up with even a decent idea to help.
“Is it hard? You’ve been working so hard, and I feel like I couldn’t focus at all today. I’m sorry if I wasn’t much help.”
It wasn’t just Ga-ram. All the members had been considerate and supportive of Sol, but he had been too busy drowning in his own problems. This wasn’t something he could leave entirely to Ga-ram. If the quest failed, it would be Sol who paid the price, and beyond that, it was a task they had to tackle together as a team. He should have shaken off his thoughts and focused more during the meeting. Reflecting on it now, he realized how selfish he had been.
“Don’t push yourself too hard, Ga-ram. I’ll try to come up with some ideas too.”
Misinterpreting Ga-ram’s low spirits as stress from the music rearrangement he'd been doing, Sol whispered softly while still holding him in the hug. Then, he gently patted Ga-ram’s back. Ga-ram bent his knees slightly, leaning into Sol. With each pat on his back, Ga-ram’s heart seemed to bounce lightly in his chest.
“Tomorrow, we’ll definitely find a solution.”
Ga-ram gently rested his forehead on Sol’s shoulder. Leaning his head against Sol’s slightly lower shoulder, the unpleasant emotions that had been overwhelming him began to settle, replaced by a racing heart. His forehead, pressed against Sol’s shoulder, felt warm.
“Thank you. I’ll try harder.”
As Sol had said, it was true that the direction for the rearrangement hadn’t been decided, and today’s meeting had been futile. Ga-ram spoke while trying to calm his pounding heart—literally, he placed his hand over his chest and gripped it tightly.
As Sol comforted Ga-ram, patting his back, he thought, “Maybe today is just a day when everyone needs comfort.” He decided that once they returned to the dorm, he would also give Deuk-yong, who was probably preparing to go to school, and Ji-ho, a tight hug. It was clear that everyone needed a moment to forget their troubles.
Sol, who had been soothing Ga-ram, slowly pushed away the body leaning on his shoulder. Ga-ram, as if reluctant to let go, slumped heavily away from Sol like someone whose head was too heavy to hold up.
As the distance between the two grew, Tae-oh, who had paused for a moment, quickly resumed walking. Though he didn’t want to interfere, the situation felt awkward. Tae-oh hurried over and glanced around. Confirming that the quiet alley was empty, he nudged the two toward the dorm, urging them to head back. Naturally placing a hand on Sol’s shoulder, Tae-oh didn’t create distance between himself and Sol this time. Though Tae-oh walked closely behind Sol as they made their way to the dorm, Ga-ram didn’t glare at Tae-oh as he had earlier. Instead, with a dazed, almost drunken expression, he followed Sol sluggishly, his face more listless than usual.
When they returned to the dorm, Sol immediately hugged Ji-ho, who greeted him first, and patted his back just as he had done with Ga-ram. Ji-ho, startled by the sudden physical contact, asked, “What’s going on?”
But Sol simply smiled and replied, “It’s just… I think everyone needs some comfort today.” As if waiting for his turn, Deuk-yong quickly spread his arms and hugged Sol.
“Don’t practice too hard while I’m gone. It’s hard to keep up with you.”
The sight of Deuk-yong, with his large frame and stern expression, clinging tightly to Sol was quite amusing. Deuk-yong, who had forced himself into Sol’s arms, complained about not wanting to go to school. Watching this, Tae-oh felt awkward. It seemed like his impulsive actions had led to this situation, and he felt embarrassed. Ga-ram, too, seemed to feel the same way, still wearing a dazed expression as he blankly watched Sol’s actions. At this point, even jealousy didn’t arise.
After finishing his shower and lying down in bed, Sol suddenly remembered a face that resembled Ju-hwan’s and, belatedly, rummaged through his drawer. After searching for a while, he finally grabbed his phone and turned it on. After a brief wait, the screen lit up, and the phone vibrated several times in quick succession. All the notifications were from unknown numbers, but Sol knew exactly who they were from. They were all messages from Eun-gyeom.
Sol checked the messages Eun-gyeom had sent earlier and hesitated for a moment before replying. It was a relief that they were only exchanging text messages and not seeing each other’s faces. If he were to see Ju-hwan in Eun-gyeom again, his barely calmed heart would likely be tossed around like a boat caught in a storm.
“Practice ran late, so I just got back. Good night, hyung.”
After sending that somewhat formal reply, Sol flipped his phone over. Eun-gyeom, who had likely been waiting all day for Sol’s response, let out a disappointed laugh at the message that left no room for further conversation. But Sol couldn’t know Eun-gyeom’s feelings.
As Tae-oh turned off the lights and lay down in bed, Sol listened to the rustling sounds and replayed the events from the practice room in his mind. When Tae-oh had suddenly pulled him into a hug, his heart had felt like it was about to burst. That pounding sensation was similar to the heartbeat he felt when he was anxious on stage, but it was different. Remembering that moment, his chest suddenly felt tight. Sol did something very similar to what Ga-ram had done earlier in the alley when he leaned against him—he tightly gripped the fabric of his shirt over his chest. If only the system window hadn’t popped up to interrupt them…
