“I know exactly what that expression means. The manager told me to use the stage name ‘Rap Star.’ But isn’t DK better than Rap Star?”
“Well, that’s true. Ga-ram-ah, Sol-ah, let’s eat first.”
“I don’t have any particular thoughts... It’s okay if I don’t eat. Instead, can I take a shower?”
“...Sure. Do whatever makes you comfortable.”
Sol didn’t seem like he could handle the food right now. His exhausted body was on the verge of collapsing, and in the awkward atmosphere, eating wouldn’t be easy. Awkwardly smiling under Ji-ho’s gaze, Sol opened the dressing room door that Ga-ram had shown him.
Every move he made was awkward and cautious, as if he was entering someone else’s home. The clothes, lined up in rows and columns, were very neatly organized. As soon as he entered, neatly labeled on a box by the door was the name ‘Sung Sol.’ Sol opened the box that seemed to contain his belongings.
It was embarrassing to call them belongings when there were only a few thin winter clothes. Sol thought that his twenty-year-old self had lived quite miserably. Well, not much had changed even at twenty-five. He grabbed some clothes and toiletries, stealthily crossing the living room. There, he saw DK tearing into chicken breasts with a determined look.
Unlike when entering the bathroom, after finishing the shower, Sol stealthily crawled back into the dressing room like a cat. His body melted into the warm water, and he let out a sigh. Sol put the changed clothes back into the box and took out his phone. Leaning against the wall and sitting next to the box, he started writing down the events of the day in his notepad.
He had laughed when the counselor told him to write things down that happened to him each day. But now, in a genuinely necessary situation, he found himself automatically jotting down notes. If the counselor saw this, he would probably be pleased.
The tutorial quest was over. During the tutorial quest, a message had appeared saying that the ‘Eraser in the Mind’ trait wouldn’t activate. Sol completed the tutorial quest in the practice room. This meant that from now on, his normally scattered memory would return.
With a hint of caution, Sol organized the names of the members and the information he learned today in his notepad. He had written down bits of information, including age, position, and other trivial details that Ga-ram had shared, well enough to understand them roughly. Even if his memory were to fade away and become useless, he couldn’t just sit idly and do nothing. At least, before waking up in the morning and handing the phone to Manager Yeong-ho, he thought there might be a chance to check the notepad once.
Leaning against the box, tapping on his phone for a while, he heard a lively conversation outside. It seemed like Tae-oh had returned to the dorm. He didn’t intend to eavesdrop, but leaning against the wall, he faintly heard the voices of the four.
“You’re here?”
“What about Sung Sol?”
“He’s probably still showering.”
“Here’s the pasta. Hyung, take a look at it later, please.”
“Tae-oh hyung, did you have a good trip?”
The sound of a plastic bag rustling could be heard. Sol, who was crouched down, leaning against the wall, tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation of the four people, but his ears involuntarily perked up. Somehow, Deuk-yong’s voice, lifeless as if the grass had died, piqued Sol’s curiosity even more.
“Hyung, about this morning’s conversation... You’re not really going to quit, right?”
Sol’s eyes widened at Deuk-yong’s voice coming from beyond the wall. He’d only just met him today, but from what he’d seen, Tae-oh seemed more sincere about this than anyone else. Even watching him practice, it was evident, and his statements to Sol were the same. Sol pressed his ear against the wall at the unexpected development.
“Kim Deuk-yong!”
Ji-ho’s stern voice rang out. It was a bit frustrating not being able to see the expressions and atmosphere of the four people just by listening to the sound. However, even just with the voice, it was clear this was not a situation where they were casually talking.
“It’s okay, Hyung... Deuk-yong, I’m sorry. I made you worry for no reason. Ga-ram, you too, Ji-ho hyung. I’m sorry.”
“I know your circumstances very well. Deuk-yong feels sorry for you too. Honestly, you worked harder than anyone else.”
“I’m sorry. But don’t worry. It’s because of Yeong-ho hyung talking nonsense. I’m sorry for making the atmosphere awkward.”
“Hyung...”
“It’s okay. I’ll think of this as the real last time and try harder.”
“...Tae-oh-yah.”
Ga-ram’s low voice sounded like it had been soaked in water, stretching like damp cotton. Even though this was a situation unfolding beyond the wall, the atmosphere darkened like a portrait studio, reaching Sol.
Considering Ga-ram’s previous words on the way to the dorm and Tae-oh’s heightened sensitivity, it seemed that it wasn’t solely Sol’s fault. Sol gathered his legs and huddled next to the box. He looked like a fugitive hidden in a crime movie. Since serious discussions were taking place in the living room, he couldn’t casually leave the room. It was best to sit quietly in the dressing room until the situation resolved.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be careful not to cause any trouble. That’s one thing, but everyone...”
“Yes?”
“Yes, hyung!”
“Even though everyone understands the situation, we still ended up like this, so let’s handle it maturely and do well.”
“But that person is a bit strange too, hyung...”
“Regardless of how Sung Sol is, we’re just trainees and don’t have a choice. Deuk-yong-ah, we just need to get through it. Just like how we have always done.”
“That’s why it continues like this. How many times has it been already?”
“Yes, I understand that you’re tired. I had a talk with Yeong-ho hyung, and during the day, I think I was misunderstood because of my attitude. I’m sorry.”
Yoon Tae-oh’s voice from beyond the wall sounded softer than expected. Unlike their first meeting, he sincerely apologized to the members. His thick, mature voice spoke softly, but sternly, as he scolded Deuk-yong for his behavior.
Sol scratched his head at Tae-oh’s unexpected remark. The word ‘leader’ written in Tae-oh’s profile came to mind. It was a brief glimpse, but Sol seemed to know why Tae-oh became the leader over the eldest, Do Ji-ho.
“Tae-oh hyung, how many times have you apologized today? Please stop apologizing.”
“Yeah, Yoon Tae-oh. Stop apologizing. Were you the only one? I was just as bad. Judging by his expression, he doesn’t seem to want to do it much either.”
At Ji-ho’s continuing voice, Sol pressed his cheeks with his fingers. She was absentmindedly trying to break the awkwardness, but it was true that he didn’t really want to do it. Didn’t he say so himself?
He smiled bitterly. Ever since the accident, there were always tags or remarks that followed Sol around. Not apologizing even when late for appointments and seeming indifferent, it was an attitude that didn’t show much concern. If others didn’t know his circumstances, it could be enough to upset them and potentially tarnish Sol’s image. As they drifted apart one by one, only Ju-hwan and Yoo-chan, who knew and understood the circumstances, remained by his side.
‘But it’s not like I can grab someone I’m meeting for the first time and tell them my situation... No, are Tae-oh and the other members even human?’
Sol suddenly had such thoughts. They were definitely game characters. They were breathing, talking, and having their own worries beyond this wall, but as far as Sol knew, they were game characters. It was confusing whether to treat them as game characters or as people. While Sol was pondering this sudden serious dilemma, Tae-oh organized his thoughts after a moment of silence.
“...It would be nice if he worked hard, but it’s also okay if he doesn’t. As long as he follows along, that’s enough. Still, I think he can catch up with the dance quickly.”
“He had a light body, and his dance line was good. However, his expression wasn’t great.”
Upon Ji-ho’s evaluation, he stretched his face, which had been stiffly locked in place, from side to side. Was it a frozen expression due to fear, or perhaps an unwilling, disgusted expression, as if he had chewed on something unpleasant? When he stood in front of the practice room mirror after a long time, there was no room to scrutinize his appearance due to extreme tension. He just hoped it wasn’t an awkward expression.
“I know you’re dissatisfied. Let’s try harder and do well this time. Everyone, help a little. I’ll also pay more attention.”
“What more can you do, hyung? It must be tough for you as it is.”
“The trainers only watch for an hour or two. Let’s take care of each other.”
“...But if he quits, what then? The last guy did that too.”
“...Let’s hope he doesn’t.”
“Ugh, it’s annoying.”
Behind Deuk-yong’s voice, full of dissatisfaction, a light laugh followed. It was the eldest’s laughter, finding the youngest’s tantrum cute.
“Kang Ga-ram, try to take care of him on a regular basis.”
“Got it.”
“Ji-ho hyung, I’ll try to focus on the dance, so please help with the vocals. Please.”
“Sure. I know your circumstances well. I should help too.”
“Sorry, hyung. Sorry, guys.”
“Tae-oh, stop apologizing!”
“Okay. It’s already midnight. Shower and go to bed, it must be tiring.”
“Especially you, hyung.”
Despite not being much older, perhaps because he was the youngest, there was a mixture of pouting and charm in Deuk-yong’s voice as he responded to Tae-oh’s complaints. Sol thought he needed to make some edits to the notes on his phone. Tae-oh seemed more determined to handle the situation and lead than he had initially thought.
“But, really, you can’t quit, hyung.”
“Yes, yes.”
Even Sol, who had hesitated to interfere in external matters, couldn’t help but laugh at Deuk-yong’s voice. The youngest was indeed the youngest. The voices of the four that had been intertwining became three.
“Deuk-yong wasn’t supposed to know about it.”
“Is that your fault? It’s Yeong-ho hyung’s mistake.”
“Will it be okay?”
“Just worry about yourself. Yoon Tae-oh.”
Sol, who thought that the loud argument with Manager Yeong-ho in the practice room was because of him, realized that it wasn’t the case. He updated the notes in his notebook with things to revise. Ga-ram, who had been quietly listening to Tae-oh’s words, also spoke up.
Their efforts to care for and understand each other were reflected in their voices. Suddenly, Suddenly, the image of Yoo-chan, practically his only friend, came to Sol’s mind, and he hunched his body even more.
Although there were clearly five people in this dorm, he felt even lonelier than when he was alone. He never expected a day would come when he would miss Baek Yoo-chan’s nagging.
T/N: Advanced chapters are now available on my Ko-fi page. Just click on the button like the one below if you want to read ahead. ^^ (PS. If you want to know how advanced chapters work, just read it <<here>>.)
