“By the way, why isn’t Sung Sol coming out? Are you sure he’s taking a shower?”
“Huh...? Yeah, maybe.”
“Earlier, he went to the restroom over there. Should I knock?”
“He didn’t seem to be in good condition.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, his hands were cold and shaking a lot.”
“Why bother checking on him that much? Yoon Tae-oh! Anyway, it’s none of our business.”
When Tae-oh suddenly felt something strange and looked for Sol, Ji-ho asked back. The footsteps of the three seemed to intensify, as if they were searching for Sol. The knocking sound on the door, and the distant voice of Deuk-yong saying, ‘I’m here!’ were also heard. Despite Tae-oh’s blunt attitude, even in the midst of it, Ji-ho chuckled at Tae-oh’s remark about checking on Sol’s condition.
Sitting crouched in the dressing room and hearing the sound of the three looking for him, Sol debated whether to leave the room now. Feeling awkward to get up and leave, Sol crouched even more and hid behind a box. A chill ran through Sol’s head as he crouched with his not-so-small body. Carefully lifting his head at the cool feeling, he saw the door open slightly, and through it, Tae-oh was looking down at him. When their eyes met, Sol awkwardly smiled.
“...What are you doing? Come out.”
“Uh, yes....”
The affectionate voice that was heard just a moment ago from beyond the wall suddenly disappeared, and a cold voice echoed from above. Blushing with embarrassment, Sol stood up when Tae-oh gestured for him to go out. As Sol awkwardly followed Tae-oh out of the dressing room, Ji-ho asked what he was doing there. Sol covered his reddened face with his hand.
“Just cleaning up a bit...”
“....”
At Sol’s mumbling, Tae-oh remained silent. Although it was obvious he wasn’t tidying up, Sol shrugged at him, who didn’t say a word. Somehow, Tae-oh, who returned late, seemed a bit tired.
“As discussed in the practice room, 10 to 10, you should leave the dorm by 9:30 at the latest. Please wake up on time. If you have personal matters or you’re not feeling well, tell either Yeong-ho hyung or me. If it’s difficult to do that, just tell any other member.”
“Yes. I’ll do that.”
“And once again, I want to emphasize, never go anywhere alone. Even if you’re just going to the convenience store to buy a bottle of water, be sure to go with someone.”
Ji-ho nodded in agreement with Tae-oh’s words. Sol, on the other hand, nodded continuously like a well-behaved child listening to his father. Despite his seemingly attentive attitude, Sol was, in fact, not fully focused on Tae-oh’s words. As usual, he let the words flow in and out, pretending to listen. The sound of Tae-oh’s voice entered one ear and went out the other. Despite Tae-oh’s advice not to go anywhere alone, Sol couldn’t help but think, ‘What if I run away?’
“For the time being, our schedule will continue with weekend evaluations. Usually, Ji-ho hyung and I will take care of things, but if there’s anything difficult or you need help, ask Ga-ram.”
After ‘Teacher’ Yoon Tae-oh finished his announcement, Ji-ho and Ga-ram began clearing the cluttered table as if their tasks were done. The clattering of dishes being put away and the sound of washing dishes. It felt strangely unfamiliar to hear such everyday noises after a long time. When he was alone, to be honest, he didn’t eat properly, and it’s a dirty story, but he didn’t even take a shower. He just did nothing. The only noises were the sounds from outside the window and the ever-present TV noise.
“Originally, a room here is for two people, but due to circumstances, the four of us are sharing one room. My room is the cleanest, so feel free to use any comfortable bed in that room.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Ji-ho hyung, the bandages.”
“There.”
Ji-ho, with soap bubbles on his hands, gestured with his chin towards a black plastic bag. As Ga-ram, who was clearing the table, tossed the bag, Tae-oh agilely caught it. Though a small gesture, the coordination of the three was remarkably skillful and natural.
Sol, who received the plastic bag from Tae-oh, checked its weight and opened it to find, besides the bandages, packaging that seemed to be a comprehensive cold medicine. His eyes widened at the unexpected items, although his thick bangs hid his expression.
“Even if it’s okay right now, your muscles might ache tomorrow due to the sudden movement. And I noticed you didn’t seem well earlier, so I bought this just in case.”
“Uh... thank you. But really, I’m fine.”
“Time management is important, but so is managing your condition.”
Sol looked up at Tae-oh. Despite his stoic appearance, with strong eyebrows and a firm mouth, he unexpectedly seemed caring and meticulous.
“That... I’m sorry for not coming without any notice. I apologize. I’ve been feeling a bit unwell and disoriented, so I couldn’t get in touch. If I was rude again today, I apologize.”
Sol, who had been peering into the bag for a while, bowed slightly to Tae-oh and the other members. Hearing the words they exchanged, Sol realized that they were unaware of his situation. Thinking about it from their perspective, he understood that he might have been quite unpleasant in their eyes.
The repeated series of events, occurring five times, would have made them even more sensitive and keen. The statements he made in the practice room would have been perfect for reliving unpleasant memories.
In fact, despite similar misunderstandings and incidents occurring in the past, even when things needed to be clarified or further discussed, Sol had consistently chosen to remain silent, unwilling to resort to lies or explanations. There was no intention on his part to improve the relationship. In essence, Sol had essentially abandoned himself. But this time, he felt that he couldn’t continue like that.
In this unfamiliar world, he was alone, and he couldn’t just live secluded in a corner as before. Whether he liked it or not, if he didn’t want to quietly face death, he had to confront these four people. If he continued to give up and neglect things as he had done so far, it would ultimately become harder for him. No, in the end, everyone would face difficulties. When Sol apologized, Tae-oh nodded silently.
Somehow, an unfounded hope that things might get a little better sprouted in Sol’s heart.
***
As Tae-oh had mentioned. The room was a bit small, but remarkably clean. Apart from the cleanliness, it seemed untouched, as if no one had ever used it, to the point where even the air felt chilly. The sheets on the bunk bed were neatly spread, without a single wrinkle, as if brand new. Sol casually placed the plastic bag he received from Tae-oh on the small table and crawled into bed. The clean and soft bedding gave a cool and pleasant feeling.
The room, devoid of any traces of life, was not only neat but also stark. Alone in his space, Sol felt his tension dissipating, and his eyelids grew heavy.
Having spent a day in a warzone-like environment with stress grenades flying around, Sol felt that he could easily fall asleep as soon as he lay down. Unfortunately, the seemingly peaceful accommodation had terrible soundproofing. It didn’t seem noticeable for the four people who were tightly gathered, but it bothered Sol.
It felt as if he had come on a school trip, as voices were lowered and laughter exchanged intermittently in the dark room, and occasionally, innocent laughter that made him wonder what was so amusing could be heard. At times, the sound of singing could also be heard. Lying on the bunk bed in the small room, Sol stared at the ceiling. The wooden boards blocking the view above filled his sight, making the space feel cramped.
When the laughter from the other side of the room stopped, the strange silence made Sol feel even more empty in the room where he lay alone. Although he was undoubtedly lying buried in a soft blanket, Sol tossed and turned as his body felt uncomfortable. Eventually, beyond the wall, Tae-oh’s low voice saying, ‘Go to sleep now,’ was the last thing Sol heard before darkness enveloped him.
He had a dream.
It was an absurd dream where he was sucked into a game and forced to risk his life to become an idol. Standing alone on a dark stage, the audience seats were strangely clear. He searched the audience for familiar faces, but he couldn’t find any familiar eyes anywhere. Terrified, Sol stumbled around, and someone grabbed his shoulder firmly.
“Wake up.”
In the darkness, hundreds of pairs of eyes staring at him frightened Sol. He couldn’t breathe properly, as if someone was squeezing his throat. He tried to take a deep breath, but it felt futile, like a wheel spinning in vain. The grabbed shoulders hurt, and somehow, the voice that had been distant began to sound clearer, gradually becoming more vivid like reality.
“Sung Sol, hey. Wake up!”
“Ah!”
Sol sat up abruptly. Suddenly, he felt the world seemed to flicker before his eyes with the abrupt movement, and a dizzy sensation, as if the world was warping, overcame him. In his dark, blinking field of vision, a handsome face with thick eyebrows appeared. The slightly furrowed eyebrows didn’t seem pleased. Unable to make a quick judgment of the situation, Sol stared blankly at the face, panting. As he stared, a mint-colored notification window popped up above the attractive face.
[New User Support Event! Login Bonus]
[Day 2: Recovery Potion x2]
[Claim Login Bonus]
“It wasn’t a dream...”
“....”
Sol, dismissing the reward window that appeared in front of him, lay back on the bed as if nothing had happened. With swollen eyes that refused to open properly, he deliberately squeezed them shut even tighter. His back was damp with a cold sweat from his unpleasant dream. After straightening his uncomfortable posture and preparing to go back to sleep, Sol slowly opened one eye to a stinging sensation on his face.
The handsome man sitting by the bed was looking at him with a cold expression. Sol engaged in a silent eye battle with the man. The eye battle ended with Sol’s defeat after a short while. His eyelids were heavy, and the more he tried to open his eyes, the more his forehead throbbed, causing a splitting headache. Sol, who had just woken up from a dream, could only stare at Tae-oh’s face for a moment as his head spun.
“If you’re awake, stop pretending. It’s 10:30 now.”
“Why?”
“...Why?”
I'm loving the sensitivity and detailment in the author writing. I can understand perfectly Sol's perspective and feelings through his thoughts
ReplyDelete