Tae-oh was the first to speak. Tae-oh’s words happened to be the exact answer Sol was hoping for, and for once, Sol expressed gratitude with a thank-you. Tae-oh pointed to the room number 6 at the far end of the corridor with a nod of his chin. It was a small practice room at the very end, not well-suited even for solo practice due to its inconvenient location. The dance floor was damaged, and the speakers were faulty, with music sporadically cutting off. It was a practice room that no one bothered to use.
It was a place that often remained empty since the layout wasn’t convenient enough, even for regular trainees to use. Although it wasn’t an ideal practice environment, it seemed better for Sol to practice alone there than in the corridor or on the stairs, especially since other places were occupied. It was the best consideration Tae-oh could offer.
Even if Sol wasn’t entirely sincere about being an idol, Tae-oh was willing to accommodate as long as Sol showed determination. Confirming that, Sol tightly gripped a vintage cellphone and headed towards practice room 6, Tae-oh could finally join the members who were actively practicing.
“Why did you come alone, hyung? Did that guy run away?”
“He said he wanted to practice alone for a bit.”
“Where?”
“I said he could use practice room 6.”
As he entered the practice room, Deok-yong and Ga-ram, lying on the floor sweating profusely, approached with casual expressions. Tae-oh forced a bitter smile at Deok-yong’s somewhat resentful tone as he casually asked if Sol had run away. Unlike Ga-ram, who didn’t show any displeasure even if there were complaints, the youngest, Deok-yong, hadn’t been on good terms with anyone who was suddenly put in the debut group, not just Sol.
It wasn’t always like that from the beginning, but being the youngest, he naturally received more emotional wounds and couldn’t hide his emotions.
“Oh, wasn’t someone using that room after lunch?”
“Who?”
“I think it was Sung-kwang hyung... something like that.”
“Probably not.”
“Who was it then?”
“Anyway, someone would use it.”
“After lunch?”
“Yeah.”
Ga-ram nodded as if he had also seen it. At the mention of an unfamiliar name, Tae-oh furrowed his brow slightly. Sung-kwang, an ordinary trainee, had already spent 10 years as a trainee. He was on the borderline in terms of age, and encountering Sol, who suddenly debuted, wouldn’t be a pleasant experience for him. If Sol decided to quit because of some unnecessary trouble, it would only be a problem for Tae-oh.
After Sol, it was uncertain who would come next. So far, the recruitment of new members for the debut team had always been from external sources. Despite Tae-oh’s several suggestions and consultations, it was to no avail. It seemed better to have Sol despite the uncertainty, rather than having another clueless and seemingly incapable person coming after Sol’s departure.
At least, it seemed that there wouldn’t be clashes with the members like with others. To be frank, the other seemed to be easygoing. Tae-oh clapped at Ga-ram’s shoulder when he asked, ‘Should we ask Sung-kwang hyung?’ It was a decision made with the judgment that it would be good to mention it during lunch.
“Tae-oh, you’re here? Where’s Sol?”
“Ji-ho hyung.”
“I can tell by your expression. This time, it’s not an easy situation, right?”
“No.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t expect much.”
The door to the vocal training room attached to the practice room opened, and Ji-ho peeked his head in. Ji-ho practically lived in the small room, almost like a soundproofed solitary confinement, with walls covered in soundproofing material. His powerful voice would still seep through the door, no matter how tightly it was closed. Tae-oh’s face became awkward at Ji-ho’s words.
It seemed like it was quite noticeable. Lately, he wasn’t managing his expressions well. Tae-oh clicked his tongue as Ji-ho, carrying sheet music, walked out. Everyone seemed uneasy about the recent events.
“Really, it’s not like that. I suggested that he at least familiarize himself since he hasn’t heard the evaluation song.”
“Yeah, if our leader says so, that must be the case.”
“Since I told him to come two hours before the afternoon lesson, let’s focus on learning the choreography and getting it somewhat coordinated.”
“Then, let’s start by placing him at the very back to get the formation, right?”
“Yes. After that, let’s check and inform about anything that could be a key point in advance.”
Tae-oh put down his bag and took off his outerwear. Tying his shoelaces tightly, he loosened his shoulders and ankles while walking towards the center of the practice room. He noticed the jump rope in the corner of the practice room, which reminded him to add it to the list of things to tell Sol later.
Although they skipped it today due to being late, originally, if they came to the practice room at 10 AM, they would all jump rope together while singing. It was a training to digest the challenging choreography while maintaining stable vocals by jumping and singing at the same time, a simple but effective method.
It made their steps lighter and helped them put power into their jumps while maintaining stable vocals, so even when it wasn’t morning, all the members were doing it whenever they had spare time.
“Let’s try matching it once and then adjust the arrangement.”
“Yes.”
“Should we put Sol here? No, should Ga-ram be next to him?”
“No, I think it’s better if I go to the back. No, wait- if I’m at the very back, the movement at the beginning is too large and it might be awkward.”
Tae-oh, recalling the choreography of “Hot Trick” he had learned last night, adjusted the temporary positions. This was necessary because the member at the very back of the formation had to move almost half of the stage during the introduction. There had been accidents where D-Block, the original singer of the song, would slip or fall due to the rapid movements right after the quick turn around the stage.
As Tae-oh gathered the members, Deuk-yong, who had been sitting on the floor, extended his answer with a long stretch, crawling towards them. When Ji-ho quickly told Deuk-yong to get up and smacked his buttocks, he finally stood properly after looking at himself in the mirror.
Once the team was well-coordinated like a well-organized puzzle, Ga-ram, as if waiting for it, started the music. The sound of the music reverberated throughout the practice room, accompanied by the continuous dragging sound of rubber soles against the floor.
***
Sol, who had opened the door to practice room 6 at the end of the corridor, nodded when he was told by Tae-oh that it was a room nobody used. From the moment he stepped onto the dance floor, the creaking sound, as if it would break any moment, made the atmosphere somewhat uneasy.
The warped floor protruded like jaws here and there, and if one was careless, it seemed almost certain that they would trip and stumble. Perhaps the leftover space was used haphazardly, but the width was so narrow that the movement flow didn’t come out properly. It was so narrow that there was no need for a mirror on the front; the space was poorly utilized.
Though it was a space that nobody sought despite being there, Sol felt surprisingly comfortable when he entered the narrow and dilapidated space. He knew the path ahead was like walking on thorns, aware of the many things he had to do, yet his body felt heavy.
Sol sat in the middle of the practice room, looking at himself in the mirror. The pale face glimpsed under the hair was unpleasant to see. After the accident, he hadn’t undergone surgery and hadn’t properly rehabilitated. He had been stuck at home, not eating properly. Though not yet at the age of perfection, his once beautifully sculpted body with dense muscles had disappeared. Instead, a skinny body, as if it hadn’t even eaten a single grain of rice, remained, making Sol’s brows furrow even more.
He was okay a while ago. But as soon as he was alone, a crushing loneliness overwhelmed him. He wanted to go home. He wanted to call Seo Ju-hwan and whine about having nothing to eat at home, and he wanted to confide in Baek Yoo-chan.
The sorrow of being hit on the head by Tae-oh that he had been holding back also overwhelmed him. Even though he received an apology, it was still painful. The desolate feeling in his heart, trapped on the edge like a cliff, made even the mountain breeze feel bitter.
Thud.
A droplet fell on the dizzying floor as a trace of fleeting effort. Tears poured out like a sudden shower in a dry sky, and no matter how hard he tried to block them with the back of his hand, he couldn’t stop.
Sol couldn’t understand why this happened to him. To someone else, his life might seem like a mess, but Sol thought he was holding up well. Enduring everything and living, he couldn’t comprehend why he was being dragged around and tormented like this.
Sol grabbed the brim of his hat with both hands and slammed it on the floor. The black hat crumpled on the practice room floor. His hair became disheveled with the intense movements, partly covering his face, Sol finally let the tears flow.
It was clear he was being punished. For bothering Baek Yoo-chan too much, for daring to harbor such feelings for Seo Ju-hwan. For cursing silently while watching Ju-hwan’s happy wedding. For repeatedly resetting characters he didn’t like. Perhaps for going on a seemingly pointless trip on that day, which happened to be his birthday.
Sol let everything go and cried until his head throbbed. His face was red and his eyes had a feverish glow from crying so much. After squeezing out every last tear, he finally, shakily, picked up his phone and opened the memo app where he had diligently recorded Tae-oh’s important stories and things he needed to discuss while walking to the company. But the phone with the notes was confiscated, making it all futile.
He wasted time shedding useless tears in the wind. Sol wiped his tears, opened his phone, and searched for the <Hot Trick> by D-Block.
“Have you finished crying?”
Sol’s eyes and mouth widened at the abrupt sound of the voice. The expression went beyond mere surprise and confusion, fitting better with a description of horror and shock. With tear-streaked, reddened eyes, he followed the voice. Someone was casually sitting in front of the practice room. Sol, looking pale and appalled, gazed at the person in front of him and once again found himself astonished.
Seo Ju-hwan, whom he had just cried desperately to see, was sitting there.
The night-colored hair left a gentle impression, preserved more as a fond memory than a recollection. His friend and unrequited love, who always smiled warmly at everyone, was staring directly at him.
The moment their eyes met, Sol couldn’t help but burst into tears again. Just a moment ago, he desperately wanted to see him. At the familiar voice asking if he had finished crying, Sol once again shed tears endlessly.
“Did I make you cry?”
The man who stood up and faced Sol furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at him. It was a gesture born of awkwardness and self-consciousness, but it also expressed embarrassment. It might have been less heartbreaking if he had let out loud sobs like a child, but silently shedding tears without saying a word seemed more poignant and pure.
“I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I was preparing something here.”
Tadinho ðŸ˜
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