Eun-gyeom still kept his gaze outside the window. Originally, people needed a sense of distance. Even if they were family, once a certain distance was crossed, the relationship was bound to become one-sided and lean towards one party. In this line of work, it was easy to become biased or want to control one side, like Luca or Ga-ram.
Failing to maintain the balance of the scales in the middle, regardless of any excuses, was his own responsibility. Eun-gyeom recalled the last time he saw Sol. The image of him trying hard to blend into the group was still vivid in his mind.
“It’s already spread far and wide. Why not just make it public? That kid Sol... I like him.”
“Really? Right? He’s pretty, isn’t he?”
When Eun-gyeom intentionally mentioned Sol’s name, the man visibly brightened and asked back. Usually, Eun-gyeom would just laugh it off, but this time he couldn’t help but agree. Nodding, Eun-gyeom shifted his gaze away from the scenery outside.
“Yes. Why not let him show his face here and there and get some activities going?”
Thinking it was a good opportunity, Eun-gyeom subtly suggested. A group that had already failed once could fail again, especially since Tae-oh’s group had failed several times before. Of course, Eun-gyeom had some responsibility for that. Smiling like a gentle puppy, Eun-gyeom looked at the middle-aged man.
“You’re not going to mess things up again, right? Tae-oh, you really have to let him debut this time.”
“Do you think I want this? How can I know the representative’s true intentions? Sol’s visuals fits well with my solo concept. If he gets a cameo in the music video, it’ll leave a good impression. It’s already been leaked, anyway.”
“What’s gotten into you? Are you really trying to help?”
“Of course. I’m a senior now.”
“When I asked you to let Tae-oh show his face a bit before, you were so against it.”
Recalling when he had insisted on letting Tae-oh get some screen time, Eun-gyeom straightened his face at the other’s words. But before the man could notice, Eun-gyeom quickly reverted to his usual friendly and pleasant expression.
Eun-gyeom put on a pitiful face, as if it was beyond his control. The man probably didn’t believe Eun-gyeom completely, but he preferred not to spread unnecessary talk. Pretending to be innocent and overly kind, Eun-gyeom feigned awkwardness.
This industry made everyone compete relentlessly. From the moment they stepped in, trainees competed against each other, and once they debuted, it only got worse. Everything was about competition, and only when they felt lacking or in need did they speak of compassion, loyalty, or family. Eun-gyeom knew well about Tae-oh’s unfortunate circumstances, which was why he had left his group.
Back then, it was unfortunate, but Eun-gyeom thought he couldn’t debut with the risk called Tae-oh amidst fierce competition. A member who couldn’t even participate properly and had to leave frequently due to emergencies? It was the same for Ga-ram. A member who couldn’t go out properly and caused disputes with fans.
These were just the right conditions for a newly debuted group to sink together. At that time, all Eun-gyeom did was honestly express his thoughts to the adults. The adults made the decision, considering their circumstances.
After that, there was a bit more leeway. It was natural. Having run tirelessly to win this battle, it was only fair to receive the reward for his efforts. Once Eun-gyeom got on track to some extent, the company often suggested that he promote Tae-oh.
In fact, it was nothing much. Just briefly showing his face at showcases or concerts, mentioning him familiarly on radio or variety shows, and subtly drawing interest. It wasn’t particularly difficult, but Eun-gyeom always expressed his refusal. Was it because Tae-oh was a member he was supposed to debut with? Because his situation was unfortunate? Because he was a younger member of the same company?
Anyway, once they debuted, they had to fight over numbers on the same chart. In the past, Eun-gyeom would never have brought up such matters first.
“At that time, it wasn’t a ‘Tae Eun-gyeom’ album, it was ‘D-Block.’ It was a team project, so how could I just push it through on my own?”
“So, you’ll push it now?”
“Aren’t I at a level where I can express my opinion?”
Eun-gyeom tilted his head and smiled at the man’s subtle probing. There was sharpness hidden behind his gentle face. Although they were conversing and joking comfortably, there was a very slight tension between the two.
“Of course, you’re the face of our company. I’d be grateful if you did that. You also struggled with Tae-oh, right? It’s a pity for the kids. We need to give them some real camera time now.”
For the past five years, he worked like crazy. He didn’t avoid any work, regardless of location, and didn’t hesitate to break down. Though they had eased up recently, he managed troublesome members and contributed significantly to the company, so he more than deserved to voice his opinions. And indeed, Eun-gyeom’s words, as YC’s representative idol, carried weight.
“Sol doesn’t even have a profile picture yet, right?”
“He needs to go to the shop first. Look at his hair. We need to send the kids to the shop, update all their profile pictures on a set day, and get them to do something, as you said. Still, Tae-oh...”
Eun-gyeom saw right through the man’s intentions as he deliberately mentioned Sol’s name, but tried to steer the conversation back to Tae-oh. Eun-gyeom interrupted him but fully agreed with the content. Indeed, it was necessary to deal with the hair that completely obscured that handsome face.
“That’s great. We have a schedule set with photographer Kim Yun-hee. If Sol’s face gets noticed, she’ll be hooked.”
“Hey, you have to be careful with things like that. Eun-gyeom, no matter how close you are with the photographer... you don’t want to ruin things with her. Let’s just handle it internally.
“For now, the Representative is supposed to come by later, so let’s talk to him about it.”
“Thank you. Their manager has been nagging about when we’ll stop wasting time.”
“Please debut him this time. I need to start playing my role as a senior.”
Since the early days of his debut, there had been a photographer he was close to. They met when they both were just starting out, and now she had become a well-established photographer. While preparing for this concept, they had many conversations, and he realized that the kind of face she was looking for matched Sol’s quite well. Although there had been several attempts to use his acquaintance with her before, Eun-gyeom, who was meticulous about managing his image, always declined to avoid unnecessary trouble. But this time was different.
Even without the director’s request, Eun-gyeom had intended to introduce Sol to Kim Yun-hee. It wasn’t just because Sol matched the type she was looking for; he thought Sol might catch her eye and seize a good opportunity. Eun-gyeom tilted his head slightly.
Had he ever cared so much for someone like this before? Not once. Even if he had to manage his image or appear on broadcasts, he had never taken care of someone so proactively on his own. Even with Tae-oh, despite knowing how hard he had it, he didn’t help but instead hindered him.
What was the difference between Tae-oh and Sol? Eun-gyeom pondered momentarily, letting the man’s noticeable flattery pass by. He had known Tae-oh and Ga-ram longer than the members of D-Block. Ironically, Eun-gyeom never felt any sympathy to care for or help Tae-oh. The same went for Ga-ram and Do Ji-ho. Of course, the situation had changed a lot since then. He was no longer a trainee and had a significant voice now. Most importantly, he no longer had any lingering attachments to group activities.
If this solo album did as well as he hoped, Eun-gyeom didn’t want to continue group activities. He was done with taking care of unruly members and sharing screen time as a nominal leader. But his concern and desire to help Sung Sol were beyond such superficial reasons.
If he had gone back to that time and met Sol, Eun-gyeom was sure it would have been different from Tae-oh or Ga-ram. Sol was different. Was it simply because he had a rare appearance? This was a place where beautiful and handsome people gather from all over. Of course, a beautiful appearance gave a good impression and likability, but that wasn’t the reason. If it were simply about looks, Tae-oh and Ga-ram would also have faces that wouldn’t be outshone anywhere.
Unlike the two, who were strong and steadfast, he liked Sol’s gloomy and moderately despairing expression. He also liked how Sol would cry alone in a secluded practice room, wallowing in misery. Because of the pity and sympathy it evoked, Sol had a way of satisfying Eun-gyeom’s twisted inner self. That’s why he wanted to help. He wanted to be someone Sol could rely on.
“Anyway, thanks. Oh, and while it’s important to focus on solo work, don’t forget you’re still the leader of D-Block. Take good care of Luca.”
“He’s not a kid anymore, and he should know to be careful now. He’ll do well. I can’t take care of him forever.”
The man, who had been lost in thought for a moment, tapped Eun-gyeom’s shoulder lightly with his fingertips and smiled smoothly. Even though he wasn’t entirely pleased with Eun-gyeom, he pretended to be accommodating. Eun-gyeom could see right through it. He felt the same way. This was the adult world, after all. Eun-gyeom made his face round and smiled as if he were a very kind person, giving an awkward laugh.
“That troublemaker... Ha, I can’t confiscate his phone like he’s a trainee.”
“I’ll tell Luca once more when I see him.”
“Please also look after Tae-oh and the others.”
“Sure. We should help each other out since we’re family eating from the same pot.”
Saying words he didn’t mean, Eun-gyeom smiled brightly.
***
“Guys, we’re going to take profile pictures!”
“What?”
“Today?”
“So suddenly?”
Yeong-ho burst into the dorm, where breakfast was being prepared. Ji-ho, who was frying an egg, was so startled that he accidentally broke the yolk with his spatula, and Deuk-yong, who had been lying limp after several days of intense dieting, also jumped up in surprise. Everyone looked shocked and flustered, except for one person. It was Sung Sol, who hadn’t woken up yet.
“Sung Sol, now is not the time to sleep. Get up.”
“......”
Still asleep, Sol was dragged out of the room by Tae-oh’s hand, as if it were still the middle of the night.
