It had truly been a long day. Too much information flooded my mind, and various thoughts lingered.
Uncle Miller.
Consul Kim Young-hee.
A younger me.
It’s not that I never thought about the future while living on the deserted island.
I just never imagined it would turn out like this.
My experience became something solely mine, and the past 15 days have turned into a kind of dream.
Even if I tried explaining my story to someone else, it wouldn’t do any good.
That’s what I told Consul Kim Young-hee as well. I asked her to handle it, however she thought best. Because I’m just a kid. I used that as my shield. And it seemed to work quite well.
So then.
What should I do from here on?
The knowledge I gained on the deserted island was still within me.
The wisdom I learned from Uncle Miller was also with me.
Thanks to that, it felt like I could do anything.
It seemed there would be no obstacles in what I planned to do next.
At least, that’s how I felt when I was talking with Consul Kim Young-hee just a little while ago.
If I were the 12-year-old me again, would I have been able to speak so eloquently?
I had undoubtedly changed.
That was what mattered.
It was also an important piece of evidence.
And then.
There weren’t only sad things in this world.
“Han Seojin!”
“Seojin-ah!”
The people I longed to see so much came to visit me in my hospital room.
As soon as they saw me, they hugged me tightly. Silently, they shed tears. I quietly stayed in their embrace. I must have really missed this warmth.
My mother and father didn’t ask me many questions.
They were only worried about whether I was in pain, repeatedly saying how relieved they were that I was okay.
I simply explained to my parents that I didn’t remember the past 15 days. I also mentioned that Consul Kim Younghee would take care of everything else. That way, it would naturally become an adult matter, and I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
We had an extremely pleasant conversation for quite some time.
My parents calmly explained to me what had happened in Korea and over the past 15 days.
Then, my younger sibling came up in the conversation.
“She was so worried about you. Be sure to call Suyeon later, okay?”
“I was planning on it.”
“Actually, at first, we tried to hide the news of your accident from Suyeon since she’s still just a child. But oh my! She caught on so quickly.”
“She’s always been a smart kid.”
“Hehe, right? She’s only five years old, though. Both you and Suyeon are such blessings! Don’t you think your mom and dad did a pretty good job? What do you think, honey?”
The question was suddenly directed at my father.
“All of a sudden? Why are you asking me this in front of our son...?”
“Oh come on! It’s not like that! I’m just asking you to brag a little about your kids! Hmm? How can you be so cold?”
“Uh... sorry?”
I decided to steer the conversation back on track after it had veered off topic.
“So, how’s Suyeon doing? She’s in Korea now, right?”
“Huh? Oh! We left her with her grandfather and only we came over here. She seems to be doing okay, more or less. But you know what? Apparently, she’s been crying her eyes out every day! Can you believe it? That normally stoic kid!”
“Really?”
“Yeah! Your grandfather’s been having a tough time trying to comfort her. Even now, Suyeon’s heart must be melting away. So, you should give her a call.”
Thankfully, my mother seemed to be in high spirits, just like usual. She looked the same as she did three years ago when she saw me off at the airport.
Following her advice, I called Suyeon right away.
Han Suyeon. Five years old.
She’s my little sister, quite a bit younger than me.
She’s shy and introverted, so we didn’t talk much, but as soon as she answered the phone, she burst into tears.
- Waaah! Oppa? It’s really you, right?
“Uh… Suyeon?”
- Sobs I thought something had happened to you. Hic
“But everything’s okay now, isn’t it?”
- Waaah! I’ve been checking the news about you every day… I even Googled where Singapore and Malaysia are… I studied a lot too… I’m just glad you’re alive. Waaah!
“First… calm down!”
- Hic Calm… down… Waaah!
Because she was crying so much, we couldn’t have a proper conversation. All I could do was briefly check in on her.
Still, just talking to my family made me feel a little more at ease.
Mom said she was going to grab something to drink and left the room for a moment. The nurse, seeing that there was a guardian present, also stepped out, saying she felt reassured.
Alone in the hospital room with my father, he cautiously started to speak, as if he’d been waiting for this moment.
“But it’s such a shame. How are you feeling about it? You were really looking forward to that masterclass, Seojin. You worked hard to earn that spot, and now it’s just gone by.”
“Ah... yeah, that’s true.”
Right.
The masterclass.
An opportunity to receive about an hour of coaching from a famous pianist.
That’s why I had boarded the plane in the first place.
But somehow, while staying with Uncle Miller, it had completely slipped my mind.
I told my father how I honestly felt.
“But... I don’t think I’m that disappointed about it. I feel like I’ve had an experience far more valuable than that.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And the past... no matter how much you regret it, it doesn’t come back, right? So I’m actually more excited about what’s ahead. The days that are coming for me.”
“That’s impressive.”
My father casually tapped me on the shoulder, then unfolded a newspaper from the table.
It was a newspaper written in Malay, one he probably couldn’t even read.
* * *
The next day.
I had to visit so many different places at the National University Hospital of Singapore.
To undergo numerous tests like MRIs, CT scans, and X-rays.
Of course, the insurance company was taking care of the costs. I also heard that additional compensation for damages would be provided later on.
My mother must have heard those rumors as well, because she subtly asked for my opinion about it.
“Feel free to let me know if you need anything. That money is 100% yours to spend. Should I buy you an iPad while we’re at it? Or maybe something luxurious? I hear kids your age are into that stuff these days. Should I secretly buy it for you without telling your dad?”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Or how about getting lessons from a better teacher? If you plan to keep playing the piano, that wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“Well... I’ll think about it. But, Mother...”
“Oh dear! What’s with the ‘Mother’ all of a sudden? Just call me ‘Mom.’”
I nodded.
“But what about our house?”
“Our house? Why do you bring that up?”
“It’s a rental. We also have a bank loan.”
“...”
My mother flinched slightly at my direct remark.
“I was thinking it might help to reduce the interest burden a little with the money. Honestly, what you and Dad are already doing for me is more than enough. I’ve been managing well so far, too.”
“That’s true, but... Seojin, have you been worrying about our rental situation? Since when?”
Suddenly, I thought of someone.
“Since I met someone who owns two houses. I also learned some financial basics from him, and he wasn’t wrong. Even with a loan, renting is essentially still debt. He told me to be cautious.”
“Who are you talking about? Someone with multiple houses?”
My mother blinked in surprise.
I smirked and, leaving her behind, walked into the CT scan room.
After the scan, we met my doctor, Dr. Loong.
Yesterday, I had shown him more than I cared to.
Thanks to that, I feel a bit embarrassed for no reason.
Dr. Loong examined my CT scans for quite a while. He looked at the computer and tapped on the keyboard. He was probably updating my chart.
After finishing that series of tasks, Dr. Loong slightly lowered his head to meet my eye level and asked a question.
“So, has your memory returned?”
My answer was already set.
“No. Nothing at all.”
“Nothing?”
“Yes.”
“Hmmm.”
Dr. Loong rubbed his chin for a moment and then continued speaking nonchalantly.
“I saw the news about you, Seojin, this morning. It turns out that an elderly couple in Malaysia actually rescued you. They live in a rural area, so they didn’t know anything at first, but 15 days later, they arranged for you to be sent to Singapore by boat… Isn’t that what happened?”
It was a rather long sentence.
Perhaps because of that, the interpreter the embassy had sent began translating Dr. Loong’s words into Korean for me.
But before I could hear the full translation, I responded to Dr. Loong in English.
“Consul Kim Young-hee handled that appropriately. Honestly, I don’t remember anything.”
Behind me, I could hear my mother’s high-pitched voice and my father’s low-pitched murmur. Whispering. From what I could gather, they were saying something like, “Oh my! Did our kid speak English that well?”
Dr. Loong continued asking me questions.
“Then the person you were looking for? Did you find them?”
“No. That was just a misunderstanding on my part.”
“I believe it was someone named Mark Miller, right? Yesterday, you spent a long time looking for him, didn’t you? But now, suddenly, today you think it was just a misunderstanding?”
“......”
I paused for a moment.
Then, I told Dr. Loong the explanation I had come up with.
“Mark Miller was a musician I truly respected.”
“A musician?”
“Yes. I think I started looking for his music without realizing it because I used to listen to it often. If you get a chance, you should listen to it too, Dr. Loong. Especially ‘Live Forever’. It’s a really good song.”
“......”
Dr. Loong clicked his pen.
He didn’t stop the action, as if he was contemplating.
My parents, worrying behind me.
The interpreter, observing the situation.
After a long pause, Dr. Loong finally opened his mouth.
“In Seojin’s case... I think it could be seen as a dissociative disorder. It’s kind of like amnesia. Umm... Interpreter, could you translate this part more precisely?”
As Dr. Loong requested, the interpreter began explaining to us.
I nodded slightly and politely interrupted him for a moment.
Because...
This was something I had heard from Uncle Miller before.
“Dissociative disorder. In simple terms, it’s like a defense mechanism of the human mind. Normally, people want to forget frightening experiences, right? So, when a terrifying memory is formed, the brain erases it on its own. I’ve also heard that sometimes it even distorts those memories.”
“......”
“......”
“......”
“I’m well aware of it, too.”
People fell silent, and I continued speaking.
“But I don’t think I have a dissociative disorder. It’s not that I want to forget those memories—in fact, I want to recall them even more. I want to remember. It’s just that...”
I said to Dr. Loong with a faint smile.
“Those memories just aren’t coming to me right now. That’s all there is to my condition.”
* * *
“Wow! Are you Seojin? That’s great!”
“You can walk now, huh? Ha ha ha! I’m still stuck in a wheelchair! How come you’re stronger than me?”
“It’s such a relief. Are you feeling any pain?”
“Hey! It’s good to see you looking healthy!”
As I walked around the hospital, I ran into many people who recognized me.
Thanks to searching the news on my smartphone, I had a rough idea that I was probably famous.
But I didn’t realize it was to this extent.
At least here, it seemed I was quite a celebrity.
The Singapore General Hospital was built in a large ‘ã„·’ shape. It was quite a sizable place, so you had to walk long distances to get to different tests.
I was walking on the first floor with Nurse Lin. I had heard something about having a test, but I didn’t really understand what it was for.
Meanwhile, my parents had stepped out for a moment to talk with Consul Kim Young-hee.
Nurse Lin, still chuckling about what had happened earlier, spoke to me.
“Seojin, you’re really popular. At this rate, you might become a celebrity!”
“It’s fame that’ll die down in less than a week. Worrying about it is only going to be a waste of my energy.”
“Oh my. Still, I bet you could make quite a few girls your age cry. Why don’t you take this chance to debut as a child actor?”
I responded to her joke with a serious answer.
“I have no intention of doing that. And I don’t have the ability to, either.”
“Tsk. How boring. You really seem like a total old man sometimes.”
“......”
“But I’m telling you, I think you have potential. You’ve got this aura that could make a mark in the entertainment industry…”
I stopped walking without realizing it as I listened to Nurse Lin’s words.
It wasn’t because I was annoyed by what she said.
It was because I heard the sound of a piano from the first floor of the hospital, where the fountain was.
Nurse Lin followed my gaze and casually explained.
“They’ve put it there so anyone can play it. It gives off a nice atmosphere being next to the fountain, don’t you think? Listening to music can calm people’s minds, and if any of the patients know how to play, it might bring them some comfort in their own way.”
“......That makes sense.”
“Yeah. But the one playing the piano right now is pretty good. They look younger than you, Seojin. That piece is a fairly well-known children’s song in Singapore. Do you know it?”
“No, I’m not familiar with it.”
Nurse Lin continued talking to me about various things after that.
But none of her words reached me.
All I could hear was the sound of the piano.
The instrument I had longed for while being on the deserted island.
On the island, I had to settle for practicing with a fake piano, just moving my fingers.
For over three years, I spent time with a piano that had no keys and made no sound.
And now, for the first time, I was facing a real piano.
Just the sound of it sent chills through my entire body.
It felt like the musical longing that I had soothed only with a broken acoustic guitar was suddenly exploding.
“A piano…”
Without even realizing, I was fidgeting with my fingers.
I barely calmed my pounding heart and looked at the piano.
