The corridor was brighter than the hospital room, and the sound of cartwheels rolling could be heard. The steps of nurses starting their busy day echoed through the hall. Sol stirred slightly, unfamiliar with the noise.
It was early dawn, and feeling a bit chilly, Sol curled up and turned over, only to realize that the slightly hard bed was not the one in his dormitory. He opened his eyes slightly. His sleep-heavy eyes blinked briefly before closing again. Trying to go back to sleep, Sol frowned slightly at the strange scenery he had glimpsed.
“Uh-huh,” he mumbled, trying to fall back asleep, but the images that had flashed through his mind kept reappearing. Sol squinted one eye open to see if what he saw was real. He didn’t want to open both eyes fully.
In his one-eyed vision, he saw the system window prompting him to claim his reward, and beyond it, he saw Tae-oh. Tae-oh was sitting on the guardian’s bed, which was barely a hand’s span off the floor, leaning against the wall with his eyes gently closed. His long legs didn’t fit well on the ridiculously low bed, sprawled awkwardly. He looked like a large animal forced to bend its legs, like a horse with a glossy black mane.
Sol quietly opened both eyes. Keeping one eye open felt uncomfortable. Quietly, the light of the sunrise entering through the small window in the corner of the hospital room reached his toes. There was no difference in Tae-oh compared to the last time he saw him. The same clothes, impeccably neat hair, and unmoving eyebrows.
Yeong-ho had said Tae-oh’s family was in a critical situation and that he had gone to the hospital, but sitting in the early morning hospital room, Tae-oh looked calm, not like someone who had experienced such an event. To an outsider, he might have just looked a bit tired. Like the midwinter sea Sol had planned to visit before the accident, he was calm, heavy, chilly, and quiet.
Maybe that’s why, even though Tae-oh might have found Sol to be a handful and frustrating, Sol felt calm when looking at him. No matter what mistake Sol made, Tae-oh would just twitch an eyebrow and quietly continue like the winter sea’s waves.
He resembled the winter sea.
Some might think of it as cold, harsh, and desolate, but Sol preferred the winter sea over summer. After the season when everyone visited the sea passed, and it became too cold for people, the sea became even bluer and clearer. Even if the wind was so cold, it felt like it would tear off his ears, the cold sea breeze would wash away all his worries, leaving him feeling refreshed.
Tae-oh resembled the winter sea. Sol thought this as he lifted the corners of his mouth slightly. He felt a bit groggy. Though the first thing he saw upon waking was a crumpled Tae-oh, the setting was familiar.
He couldn’t remember the important details of what had happened last night. He remembered having fun with Ji-ho and Deuk-yong and returning to the dorm, but everything from the corridor onward was blank.
No, to be precise, he remembered encountering someone, but the details were fuzzy and didn’t come to his mind clearly. He just remembered that something had happened, and from the moment Yeong-ho arrived, he could recall things. Also, the conversation he had with Ga-ram late at night and the rather comfortable and enjoyable feeling remained vividly in his mind despite the hazy memories. So, even though his head was all fuzzy and murky, he didn’t feel bad.
It was the first time he felt like this, so he was chuckling to himself like an idiot when Tae-oh opened his eyes. He blinked his deep eyes silently and, when his eyes met Sol’s, he immediately brought his index finger to his lips. “Shh.” At the sound of his whisper, Sol nodded while still lying down.
Tae-oh lifted his body, which had been leaning against the wall. His movement was unexpectedly heavy. He pulled himself closer and leaned toward the bed where Sol was lying. Then, in a very small whisper, he said,
“Let’s let Ga-ram sleep a bit more. He hasn’t been asleep for long.”
Sol nodded in response instead of answering. Although Tae-oh’s voice, whispered with a lot of breath, wasn’t clear in form, it was very low and calm.
“When did you come?”
“A while ago.”
“Why didn’t you go to the dormitory...?”
“Yeah. I was worried.”
Tae-oh answered as if in casual conversation, and Sol rubbed his eyes. The distance between them was excessively close, but whether it was because his head was foggy or because Tae-oh looked too calm up close, it felt somewhat dreamlike.
Caught up in that peculiar atmosphere and feeling, Sol chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. Feeling the chill as the blanket slipped down, Sol shivered, clasped his hands under his head, and curled up even more. Despite his intentions, he ended up in a posture that seemed like he was listening intently to Tae-oh’s story. But the one who spoke first was not Tae-oh but Sol.
“Are you okay?”
“Are you okay?”
When Sol asked quietly, Tae-oh returned the same question instead of answering.
“Me? What do you mean?”
“...They said you were pushed and fell.”
“Oh... I think I’m okay.”
Without remembering exactly what had happened, Sol responded thoughtlessly and then hurriedly nodded.
He was pushed and fell. 'I see, that’s how it happened.'
He didn’t remember, but Sol nodded as if to agree. Sometimes he got used to situations like this, and it was funny how only in such moments did his awareness become sharp. Feeling a sudden chill, Sol shivered and shrugged his shoulders. Seeing this, Tae-oh looked at him for a moment and then pulled up the slipped blanket to cover him properly. It was as if Tae-oh knew Sol was feeling cold. Even now, just like always in the practice room.
When the blanket was pulled up to his neck, Sol drew a satisfied smile at the corner of his lips and slightly relaxed his hunched shoulders.
“I’m sorry. I should have realized sooner. If I had, things wouldn’t have turned out this way.”
Instead of scolding Sol for his mistake or asking why he didn’t say anything earlier, Tae-oh blamed himself. Tae-oh’s expression was heavy, but for some reason, Sol found himself smiling foolishly. Ga-ram also blamed himself, and Sol blamed himself too. But now, even Tae-oh was blaming himself in front of him. Though he couldn’t remember clearly, in his vague memories, Deuk-yong also seemed to have apologized, saying something was his fault.
Somehow, everyone was only blaming themselves. Naively, someone could have blamed others, but everyone was so kind. Being just kind like this, someday if a protruding stone like himself pricked them, it would hurt a lot. His thoughts started to drift in a strange direction again.
“…Lately, I haven’t been able to focus on you guys.”
Tae-oh’s voice brought back Sol’s scattered focus. It wasn’t Tae-oh who wasn’t concentrating, but Sol who was listening to the conversation. Surely, a status window would be blinking blue with the phrase [Trait ‘Eraser in the Mind’ activated]. Sol, breaking away from his solitary thoughts at Tae-oh’s voice, shook his head.
“Of course. It’s been tough.”
“……”
“And a troublemaker like ‘me’ came in. You had a lot to worry about in many ways. It’s only natural to miss things… Ga-ram probably couldn’t tell you first for the same reason.”
It was natural. He had more important, bigger, and heavier problems. It was a significant family issue that, even if he disappeared for a few days and then reappeared after a long time saying, “Sorry, I had some circumstances,” everyone would understand and not question him. In fact, Tae-oh was the one person whose absence here wouldn’t be surprising at all.
Sol stared at Tae-oh’s unusually black eyes. They were consistent, upright, and pure, making him want to say something good. The problem was that Sol wasn’t very good with words. Although he didn’t mean to say it that way, a slightly sad expression appeared on Tae-oh’s previously expressionless face.
“…That makes me worry even more.”
Tae-oh laughed. It wasn’t a very pleasant laugh. It was a very small smile that felt somewhat regretful. Sol, momentarily lost for words at his unfamiliar smile, stared at him blankly before finally speaking after a long pause.
“In what way?”
“Every time Ga-ram, the other members, or the company, take care of my situation and show consideration. I feel like I’m causing trouble. I feel like I should quit and go back to where I belong.”
“You belong here. You’re the leader of the debut team, Tae-oh.”
Maybe it was because he always saw him working hard as a leader since meeting him here, or maybe it was because he first saw him as a game illustration on Yoo-chan’s phone screen? He couldn’t imagine a different Tae-oh. Sol spoke as if it were the most obvious fact.
“If you’re not here, who will wake me up every morning? It would be too hard for Ji-ho hyung to do everything by himself.”
Without giving Tae-oh a chance to refute, Sol kept chattering. Though his voice was very small, as if whispering, he continued speaking quickly without a moment’s rest since Tae-oh had known him. It couldn’t even be called a conversation, as it was mostly Sol’s one-sided talk.
“Wouldn’t everyone slack off in practice? Most importantly, I... would be the most dangerous.”
“Today, no, right now, you seem different.”
Tae-oh found it cute and funny that Sol, who claimed to be the most dangerous while practicing harder than Tae-oh, who was known as a practice maniac within the company. He let out a hollow laugh. The way Sol whispered and poured out everything she thought was amusing.
When Tae-oh chuckled, Sol looked even more bewildered. Tae-oh’s laughter was like white waves crashing on a quiet winter sea. It was cold and intense, but it felt refreshing.
“Me? Because I’m sleepy...? I guess I’m still not fully awake.”
Sol stammered with a bewildered face, staring blankly at Tae-oh. Even though it was a very refreshing laugh, for some reason, heat rose to Sol’s cheeks. Was it because she pulled the blanket up to his chin? The temperature kept fluctuating between cold and hot.
“More like... you seem relaxed and comfortable.”
“Comfortable. Because I’m lying down.”
In reality, Tae-oh was the one who looked relaxed and comfortable. Sol, whose face turned red from the sudden warmth, pulled the blanket even closer and spouted nonsense. Even though he knew that the “comfort” he referred to wasn’t like this, he pretended to be clueless and said something else on purpose. Tae-oh just laughed quietly, without saying a word at Sol’s response.
Today, Tae-oh, who was usually exhausted from various happenings, felt different. Sol, for some reason, couldn’t look at Tae-oh directly anymore and glanced away. A brief silence flowed between the two.
AAAAHHHHHH SE VA A COMENZAR A ENAMORAR!?!? JSBDJABFBJADHK AY
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